Books for Giving & Forgiving

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Have you been reading more during the COVID pandemic? Or thinking about reading more? Here’s five quick reviews of some favorites among the books I read in 2019. Looking back, “Books For-giving” makes sense since all of these books have some element of forgiveness to them, whether it’s forgiveness of another person, a culture, or oneself.

Many years ago, Gloria Steinem published Revolution from Within, which was my first introduction to the idea of holding your previous selves with love and forgiveness. It’s easy to judge our own trespasses more harshly than we judge others’ behavior. Steinem (as I recall) recommended visualizing your “old” self  as a fallible human being and forgiving any wrong-doing or wrong-thinking.

But that’s a book I read thirty years ago. Here’s what occupied my mind in 2019:

25241883The book that wowed me the most in 2019 was Kia Cothron’s novel, THE CASTLE CROSS THE MAGNET CARTER. That’s not a typo, but I’ve wondered if this weird title has something to do with the sad fact that this book didn’t win every single major literary award the year it was published. Or maybe it was the length. If you’re someone who isn’t scared of long books with even longer threads of moral complexities, this is for you.

As others have noted, Kia Cothron’s book is a masterpiece. Brilliant language and dialogue, unforgettable characters, and a complex narrative arc all inform this magnificent historical novel. The last hundred pages broke me open like I was a pomegranate, all ruby red and full of seeds.



How to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. KendiIt’s barely three years since publication of STAMPED FROM THE BEGINNING, Ibram X. Kendi’s comprehensive history of racist ideas and policies. Since then, Dr. Kendi has taken a position at American University as director of the new Anti-Racist Research and Policy center, and he’s written this brilliant new book, HOW TO BE AN ANTIRACIST.

Interweaving the history of his own changing ideas about race from childhood to the present with the intellectual history of social and political theory and policies concerning race during the same time period, this book is a must read for everyone interested in healing the wounds of racism in our country.

Dr. Kendi’s logic is concise, beautiful, and convincing for me — and even, I think, for people who are not as ga-ga over syllogisms as I am. I listened to the audiobook (read by Dr. Kendi) and then bought the print version to re-read and use as a reference.


Somehow, even as a lifelong fan of British women novelists, I’d never read anything by Jo Baker until this year. It’s especially surprising that I never picked up Longbourn, her riff on Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, one of my childhood/young adult faves.

Baker has the particular storytelling gift of exposing cultural lapses in logic and compassion, and similar lapses in individual readers. In other words, she sets you up like a bowling pin for your own personal epiphany.

Longbourne  parallels the plot of Pride and Prejudice by prefacing each of its chapter with a quote from P & P. These function as a sort of shorthand for the where and when of the main characters of Longbourn: Mrs. Hill, the housekeeper, Mr. Hill, the butler, Sarah, the ladies’ maid, and Polly, the char. The acts and concerns of the gentry, however, are as the acts of insects — utterly insignificant, except when they happen to sting. And sting they do, in surprising, devastating ways, often with less consciousness of cause and effect than an insect.

The focus is on the hearts and minds of the people employed by the Bennett family. It is their secrets, their desires, their thoughts, and their concerns that move the novel forward. In the precarious and changing economy of early 18th century England, these characters are as concerned with stability and security as the Bennett daughters, and they make a host of distinct sacrifices to stay afloat. This is a page-turner with a deeply embedded treatise on class division.


Good Talk: A Memoir in ConversationsRead this one nearly nonstop, and it is the book I wanted to give everyone in my gift list! I picked it up because I thought there might be some scripts or pointers I could use to talk with conservative family members about politics and race. I either got that idea from a review or from my misinterpretation of a review. This book has no easy answers about that.

The story is expertly braided around “uncomfortable “ questions Mira Jacobs’ young son asks her, beginning when he becomes obsessed with Michael Jackson. It’s hilarious and heartbreaking at the same time.

I was amazed not only at how much the illustrations (is that the right word?) added to my enjoyment of the book. Jacob reproduces the same image of each character over and over again, yet each drawing seems to change expression to match new text. How did she do that??? Miraculous!

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OMG, I haven’t read so many books by men in one year since I was a kid on a Dostoevsky binge. That’s because so many books by men have irritated me to the point of rage. Men, y’all are leveling up.

I’ve been consumed by issues of race this year as many people have been. Ruffin’s very original take on one possible future of race-based policies and race relations is scary, even (or especially?) for me, the old 97% white lady. I had a hard time getting past the narrator’s hinky voice, but believe me, it’s crucial to the story line.




I’m always looking for my next book, so if you have any recommendations, please post a comment!

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